why i'm the ELDEST???

Today is the most hectic day after all!
*Fortunately, it is not because of workload*
Sigh ^~^
Last evening, I got 6missed calls from my lil sis..
I couldn't call her back because I didn't have enough credit.
Then, she called me back telling me that she was so upset with my dad..
They both had a little misunderstanding I guess.
She was not as happy as usual. Her tone of voice clearly enough to tell me that she was very sad.
And she kept crying till the end.

I didn't know how could I help her.
I didn't know how to calm her.
I did try my best to not let her cry.
But I just couldn't help myself..
At this point, there's only one thing in my mind..
WHY I'M THE ELDEST???
Why I didn't have any brother to depends on?
Why I didn't have any sister to share with?

O.M.G, I just couldn't help myself..
Yeah, it is so like me..
Once my sis ended the call, tears kept flowing..
I was at the bus stand, waiting for the bus with many other people!
Really, I was so sad to hear my lil sis crying..
I didn't know what should I do..
Dear Allah, plz give me strength to be a good sister to my siblings..

Now its BEGIN

Today is my 3rd day at Citi..
Syukur, today is much better than yesterday.
I did my part.. Not just being a silent audience like before.
I talked.. I laughed.. I asked.. I answered..
Really, it was full of joys. It's a good beginning after all.
Thank to Prem, now I become more confident :)
*unfortunately, he's taken already*

During my 1st and 2nd day, I was so drowning.
You just imagine, there are 14 of us..
And out of these, half are non-Malays.
And among these 14 new hires, only 3 are fresh grad.
And of course I'm the part of these 3peoples.
Unfortunately, I'm the only one who graduated from local uni!!!
Really, it's hard! I have no confidence at all.

But then, my mum said I should try my best.
Do not GIVE UP.
Think +ve.
And Sumaxest said I should be proud of myself.
I'm good enough as they hired me.
And Alang said I need to believe in myself.
If not, I'm not losing to others but myself.

And now, I can feel the different.
All I have to do is to have the passion on what I'm going to do.
Just CHILL!
Really, I want to go beyond the limitation.
Nothing is impossible :)
I believe I can!
Really, I wanna make the difference..
even my qualification not as cool as others ;)